Fashion Blogger... or Whatever

Red Flags: Pay attention to the signs before destruction.

I know you guys are sick of me saying this, but it has now been about seven months since I have been a single person. It has been a journey but I am really proud of myself for the challenges that I have faced, and staying strong to the promises that I made when my last relationship ended. Rule number one was stay focused on loving myself more. My new motto is you have to know what it is to be in a relationship with yourself before you can be in one with anyone else. I've grown quite comfortable with being alone.. almost too comfortable. I fact I often fear I will end up alone forever because of my standards lol. Quite often I have guys try to pursue me and to much dismay 98% of them are ignored or disowned. The reason being is that they give warning signs.. these signs are better known as red flags.

One thing I have learned when it comes to people is when they show you who they are, believe them. People give off vibes and signs and sometimes red flags. Don't ignore them.. I promise I have done this oh so many times and I always pay for it in the end. Here are the top five signs that I run away from immediately when it comes to guys trying to pursue me. (Mind you, this is all BEFORE we have even had the first date *X X eye emoji*

  1. Will not give you their government name
  2. Only contact you every few days and when they do it's late at night
  3. Say crazy/ possessive things
  4. Have a "little friend" or are "between" relationships
  5. Want to know where you live
 1. As crazy as this shit sounds there are GROWN ASS men out here who will be quick to give you a nickname or fake name.. yeah that's fine and dandy (the nickname) but really dude? Whats the name your mother signed on your birth certificate? What is it that you're trying to hide? If he will lie about something as simple as his name he will lie about anything.

2. One thing I have learned about a man.. is that when they are interested in you they WILL contact you and as often as possible. They want to be around you to get to know you. What I also have learned about a man who likes you will have respect for you. Anyone contacting you late at night to see how you're doing or whats up.. could give two fucks about you and 9 times out of ten only want to do just that. Fuck. They have no respect, period. If you have met someone who only hits you up once a week and has yet to ask you out or make some sort of arrangement with you.. don't waste your time. He isn't interested.

3. "You better".. "don't make me". Theses are real life statements a person/ people have said to me after only meeting me once. I'm not going into detail but these two sentences are clear signs of a possessive person. At one point of time I used to think possessive meant "care". NO one you just met (or ever) should be telling you what you better do or what you would make them do to you. I was in a controlling and verbally abusive relationship years ago and it is not cute or funny. When a person shows signs of control and possession don't take it lightly. You could end up physically hurt one day.. yes, it is that serious.

4.The infamous.. "I have a little friend" line. Ladies, he has a freaking girlfriend or something close to it. OKAY!? Better yet if he admits that he has a girlfriend or significant other. Run as fast as you can. Unless you are content with being second/ runner up/ side piece don't fall for this line. You deserve to be some one's only.. not main or number one. The ONLY ONE. Dudes (and females) will tell you they just got out of something or they have a few friends. Don't be led down this path of destruction. It's drama and confusion. If your interested in laying pavement towards a healthy relationship you don't need anyone who is unstable.. and by unstable I mean "just got out of something" nine times out of ten you are a rebound and they are trying to fill a void. I am almost certain the person for me.. will be on a path of self love/ self relationship like myself. That's just me being real. I don't want anyone with any emotional baggage.

5. "Where you stay?".. "Maybe I can come to your house and chill with you sometimes" *Tire screech* Wait one damn minute! ANYONE and I mean ANYONE who personally invites themselves to your house needs to be turned around and kicked as far away from you as possible. Period. No one with any respect should inquire where you live. First of all.. I am a single mother and where my son and I lay our heads at night is "our" safe haven. If I just met you, I don't freaking know you.. you could be a psycho path with the intention of murdering me or robbing me blind. Yes, it 's that serious. TOO often I see women meet a guy and cook dinner for them and lay up watching a movie two days later at their house. Hell. No. If a guy is interested in you he will actually take you OUT for dates and actually get to know you in public first. Don't fall for that I'm just not into going places crap. Unless you are the same way of course. They go out with their friends and family don't they? Why can't they do the same for a woman they are trying to pursue!?.. Someone asking me where I live makes my blood boil and is plain disrespectful. It is definitely a deal breaker for me. Like, seriously, I will cut a person off cut and dry for this one. How about you get to know me by actually conversing with me on the phone and taking me out? Allow me to get comfortable with you and invite you over on my own time? If I wanna be nice and make dinner, or if I want to rent a movie, or play video games or what ever at my place.. I will let you know.

Of course there are many other signs that I could've named but these are the most common I have come across. By no means am I a relationship counselor or trying to tell you what to do. I am giving you things that bother me.  Even if you don't read anything I just said.. when it comes to getting out here in the dating field, go with your intuition and pay attention. Excuse my language but fuck a benefit of a doubt.. if it doesn't seem right chances are it is not.

What are red flags for you? Leave me some comments below.

Making my dreams come true,
Ash

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