Fashion Blogger... or Whatever

From Seed To Flower

A good guy friend of mine and I were out one night having a serious conversation about relationships and why they don't last nowadays. People apply too much pressure.. plain an simple. It may just be me but I am seeing a rashness of people starting relationships, ending them, and entering new ones within a matter of months. Where's the recovery? Call me crazy, but when you end a relationship 95% of the time it is on bad terms. If everything was fine and dandy why is it ending.. I mean, you have be feeling some kind of anger, spitefulness, or pain. So explain to me how you one, find a new "love of your life".. and two, have decided you're "going to be together forever" in such a short time.. Shit is mind boggling to me. People just want to jump into new relationships and make it "a perfect relationship" without nurturing the situation first. You know, actually getting to know each other before saying you're in a relationship.

As him and I were tuned into the live band he said some of the realest shit I ever heard. He went on to say relationships are like flowers. You have to plant the seed, nurture it, and watch it grow into something beautiful. People want to skip the growth process. The just want to throw a seed down and pull the stem, leaves, and flower from it.. not going to happen. This was about two weeks ago that we had this conversation and it stuck with me so much that I decided to share. He was absolutely right.. I can't tell you how many people are boo'd up on their Instagram/ Facebook/ Twitter pics with one person and talking shit three posts later. Five post later they have someone "new and better". They are "one" "in love" "happy to have found this person" and a month later they do it all over again.. GTFOH (get the fuck out of here). Are these people doing this for social media attention, are they filling a void, is it really that hard to be alone??

I'm starting to think the answer to all these questions are YES! People really don't want to admit where they could be wrong in a situation and work on themselves and eliminate baggage before stepping into a new relationship. They just want to feel good. It's really sick. I can say this because I was one of those people. That's right.. I was that girl jumping from one relationship to the next. Not so much with the social media though. This is the first time in years I have actually decided to be alone. You know, Love myself more, achieve some goals, and actually have a relationship with myself. I am setting myself up to be able to bring something to the table other than cooch and looks. When I do find "the one", I want to be completely over my past and content with my present before moving onto the future with the next person. No one likes a battered woman, it's not fair for someone to deal with my issues I have based on past relationships (because I still have them).

I started thinking about the last six months of being single. I have met several guys who want to apply pressure. They call constantly wondering "when can I see you again" "where you at" "what you doing today""where do you live" "when you gonna cook for me"... I even had one try to kiss me after a dinner date. Needless to say I gave him my forehead to kiss.. it was very alien to me. Don't assume that because we hung out once you're entitled to a kiss or anything else for that matter. Damn, can we just hang out!? As a matter of fact can we just go with the flow?? Get to know me, find out what my dreams are, what my likes and dislikes are (he would know kissing immediately is a STRONG dislike had he actually tried to get to know me), what makes me laugh, what my passion is and why... and I will do the same in return. It's not that I'm being restrained or funny acting I just know what I want and what not to do to receive it.

I can really go on and on about this, seriously.  However, I'm going to sum it all up to say this... I am not interested in a relationship that is not planted, nurtured, loved, and properly grown. I will continue to end up with lots of dead flowers (meaningless relationships) and plenty of wasted time. I will spare myself the endless cycle of "yes we're dating" just because. You all can keep your seed to flower "flowers" (genetically modified)... I am taking the organic route.

Making my dreams come true,
Ash

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